Some Words I Know

Kamis, Mei 29, 2014

I've just finished my religious lessons "Kursus Dasar Agama Buddha" on one of Vihara near my current place. It was not my pure desire to go to Vihara and did good deeds by hearing, learning Dhamma. Because back in Medan, whenever my Mom asked me to go with her to Vihara, I would always decline the offer. I'm lazy to go there.

Originally, I had always followed my Mom whenever she went to the Vihara she often visited. Firstly, I was not lazy, I was high-spirited. But there was a time I was afraid of them. They asked us to bring new friends into the Vihara, and if we don't we would get punished. (In fact, they did nothing) I was a shy child that time, I did not have many friends, so I was so afraid of them. Since that moment, I became a rare visitor. I tended to avoid the Vihara. They asked me why I did not come back again, and I just give a fake smile without answering. Just because I was afraid of failing to bring new friends, I 'never' came back.

Anyway, when I was just entered primary school, I heard other students from my class said that Christian is an easy religion (at school). Then, when the teacher asked me what is my religion, I said Christian. Because when I was kindergarten I was a Christian too, and hearing they said Christian is a good choice for easier religion, I foolishly answered Christian. When in fact, I am Buddhist. My family are Buddhist. I do not know what is wrong with my brain that time that I can choose Christian. I grew up learning Jesus Christ and bible. I could sing a basic spiritual songs like "Si Semut", "Nabi Nuh" and et cetera.

My Christian school-life ended when I was in high school. I was aware that I am a Buddhist. I asked myself, "Why do you Christian when you are a Buddhist?" I keep worrying, still doubtless whether I should change my religion or not. Then, I came into a decision where I choose to change my religion to Buddha.

At first, I thought it will be so hard for me to understand. I had no knowledge about Buddha even on the smallest. I have no idea at all. My friends said I am stupid to change my religion. They said Buddhist Test (on school) is so difficult, Christian is easier. I was afraid, of course. I did not know anything, how could I answer those test? Fortunately, in my first year changing my religion, my teacher is a take-it-easy teacher. She is kind, and actually did not teach us about the basic of Buddha anymore. She taught us how to meditate, how to be a good person, and also taught us about life. She did not give us test, which is so lucky! But in my second year, the teacher changed into Padmasvari. She was an old, senior teacher. When her lesson began, we often moved to back seat (because some Christ and Muslim went to separate rooms) She taught us the same thing over and over again. She really liked to talk about kamma. When my friends asked her, or discussing the Dhamma she shared, she would always 'win'. In her 'era', she often gave us test. I, as the person who just moved into a new religion, was in shock. But, fortunately, she also gave us the materials, and some questions first (to be memorize) before actual exam.

During those years, even though I had change my religion, I still did not come back to Vihara. I was still avoiding them.

But, lately, when I went to Jakarta, my auntie always bring me to Vihara. I could not turn her down, because ... I lived in her house, and I have to be the 'good girl everybody loves'. So, I joined her, and frequently visits Vihara again.

This time, she brought me to "Kursus Dasar Agama Buddha" with her sister and one of her subordinate.

In there, we learned what Buddha is, the history of Buddha Gotama, the sermon of Bikkhu, and also Visudhi (like formally declaring yourself as Buddhist) They gave us paritta books, materials, notebook and pen when we entered the place. When the course starts and some great people start give us lecture, enlightment, I listened. At some point, I was inspired. Suddenly, I felt to bring their words into one of my fanfic (Return) I was even smiled dreaming about the continuation of my stories. But I also wrote some good points of their words to notebook. Let me share some: (these are my own words)

Note that each point is not related to another. These are quotes from what I heard and understood.

Knowing good deeds are done for your sake, you will feel blessed. There are someone there caring for you. 

Even if you do not know what deeds you have done, Kamma has already born.Your act, your physic, your words, and even your mind are Kamma. 

Buddhist believe in law of Kamma.There is action, there is reaction. There is cause, there is result.You plow what you seed. You grow what you learned.

There is also rebirth. After a person died, she/he will be born again into one of realm based on how strong her/his Kamma is. Rebirth does not mean reincarnation because it is not 'relocating' someone's soul but continuing someone's Kamma. (That could defne that Drama is so fiction) People did not reincarnate, they rebirth into a whole new world. But they bring their Kamma along. Everything happened in their past life, give a result to their present life. Everything happen in their present life, give impact to their future life. There is no guarantee that you will continue to rebirth as a human again. Because if you have bad Kamma, you could be reborn as an animal, or even worse in hell.

Do you know that Bullshit is bad Kamma?I just fount out... :/

There four types of individual:1. Success easily.2. Success after learning.3. Success after hard working and learning.4. Never reach success.

Never let pain infect your heart when the risk is too high for you to handle. 

Buddha is a human too. He lived, sick, and died.What makes Him so great?The reaction, the pattern of His mind. When we, ordinary human, tend to waver over our own emotion. He is stable. 

Some of the speaker delivered the lecture well, but (I am sorry) one of them made me want to sleep. There is also one of them that made me furrowed my brow. He is a senior Romo that was originally a Christian before.

I was not truly agree with his opinion. I can not give the exact why, but I just can not. He said that Christian and Islam is an illogical religion. He 'proved' that point. I was a Christian before, so I knew a bit of it. I will take one point. In Christian, God is everywhere. So, He asked 'how can God be in everywhere? Did he also there when there is rape and violation?' He said the teaching of Christian is not consistent. I was there with my furrowed brow unable to digest His talk. Maybe because I can not agree with Him. Therefore, I was blank, did not feel enlightenment upon His saying. Maybe it was not my time yet to accept those talk. . .


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  1. Is this blog have no update anymore?
    Too bad, this blog is kinda fun to read, and im kinda excited to know about this blogger new story..

    I just hope that she's okay.. and nothing bad happened that make her stop writing.

    1. Thanks for reading. I am okay. Nothing bad happened

  2. maybe she's to tired to write..
    On some part she did says that her work is really too much and boring.

    Kinda hope that she keep writing tho

  3. talking about return, when are u going to resume your fanfic.. i’ve waited for longgg wkwkwk

    1. ... someday... hahaha couldn't think how to continue their story....